u can laugh, i dont mind...

making choices sometimes can make someone spell "stupid" on ur face,
or laughing out loud at ur back...

few people can understand how it felt walking in our shoes..

no matter what people say how moronic i am, i know that this is worth to fight for..

its even worth to die for...



dadar guling...

i hope we already do...

Colbie Caillat - Realize

Take time to realize that your warmth is crashing down on in.
Take time to realize that I am on your side.
Didn't I, didn't I tell you?
But I can't spell it out for you.
No, it's never gonna be that simple.
No, I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other,
And we'll never find another.
Just realize what I just realized,
We'd never have to wonder,
If we missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize,
Oh, oh, I'm on your side.
Didn't I, didn't I tell you?
Take time to realize this all can pass you by.
Didn't I tell you?
But I can't spell it out for you.
No, it's never gonna be that simple.
No, I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realize what I just realized,
Than we'd be perfect for each other,
And we'll never find another.
Just realize what I just realized,
We'd never have to wonder,
If we missed out on each other oh.

It's not the same.
No, it's never the same,
If you don't feel it too.
If you meet me halfway,
If you would meet me halfway,
It can be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized,
Than we'd be perfect for each other,
And we'll never find another.
Just realize what I just realized,
We'd never have to wonder...

Just realize what I just realized,
If you just realize what I just realized... ooh ooh.
Missed out on each other now.
Missed out on each other now.

Realize, realize, realize, realize, oh...

uncertainity is either a bless or doom : u choose...

dibanyak kepribadian yg memiliki kehidupan, manusia pasti membenci "ketidakpastian"...secara manusiawi pasti manusia membutuhkan jawaban atas hidupnya...pertanyaan2 tersebut hanya akan berakhir bila manusia mati...

banyak kehidupan yg berakhir bila manusia tersebut mati menyerah atas usahanya mencari "kepastian" dan "jawaban"...they're not strong enough to wait the uncertainity...giving up for what they call last effort by suiciding them self...

menyerah juga bukan hanya tentang bunuh diri, tapi juga pelan2 menyerahkan diri pada kematian...

namun sebenarnya ketidakpastian bisa merupakan berkah yg tersembunyi..manusia menunggu berkah tersebut dgn perasaan yg ingin dikejutkan dgn akhir yg bahagia..berharap bhw dgn memiliki harapan atas datangnya jawaban, akan menjadikan hidupnya sempurna dgn hadiah Tuhan yg mereka tunggu2...

sekarang masalahnya tinggal satu dgn 2 pilihan keputusan : apakah ketidakpastian merupakan kenikmatan atw penderitaan bagi manusianya?

apakah logika dan batin siap menunggu jawaban tersebut? atw menyerah krn penyiksaan yg terjadi krn menunggu?

ur answer..ur choice..evrything is about choice and risk...

masks..

try to find my masks again...
never thought would be like this again...
being someone for someone else...
not being someone for myself...

i tried many ways to see smile on ur face..
or even evryones faces..
i'm not trying to find my own smile...

for the years in front of me,
from now on..
i am nothing...

mother...

today i'm babysit arya...krn mba'e minta pulang kampung, jadi deh tuh bocah diculik sm keluarga gw..

hohoho..menyenangkan sekali yah punya bayi, aq pingin jadinya..ehehehehe...untung ngamuk mode nya hari ini ga nyala, anteng aja tuh..genit2 sm ade gw..ehehehe...normal brarti doi...

sometimes it hurts so much seeing babies..hurts coz i havent had it yet...still dont know if God will give me some someday..with who? hiks..God knows it from whom...

having concieve it on my belly...babies...child...teenager...grownups... :( cant wait!!!

i can...

when evry unspoken words isn't ur passion anymore...
when evry drop of my tears didn't hurt u anymore...

we speak of our hatred,
repeating either each disagreement and apologies..
reminiscing evry wounds..
makes us even go further into the goodbyes...

i'm not scared...
bcoz u promise to fly..
bcoz u promise to be happy...

i'm ur bestfriend...
u'll home to me with a big grin in ur face...
u'll home to me soon with each of ur dreams in ur hands..
we'll cherish evry anger with the calamity from our present...

and we smile to our past...

i know...i can....

mimpikuuu....

semua mimpiku bbrp sudah berakhir...even though its hard to accept, i'm very sure that i still can hold on...never knew when death will come, but i will try to do evrything i can to live for my own...

before i die, hope God will give me a chance (if God still think that i'm only human) i can go to where my dream's belong...



pulau derawan @ kalimantan timur, lepas pantai tanjung redeb



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