uncertainity is either a bless or doom : u choose...

dibanyak kepribadian yg memiliki kehidupan, manusia pasti membenci "ketidakpastian"...secara manusiawi pasti manusia membutuhkan jawaban atas hidupnya...pertanyaan2 tersebut hanya akan berakhir bila manusia mati...

banyak kehidupan yg berakhir bila manusia tersebut mati menyerah atas usahanya mencari "kepastian" dan "jawaban"...they're not strong enough to wait the uncertainity...giving up for what they call last effort by suiciding them self...

menyerah juga bukan hanya tentang bunuh diri, tapi juga pelan2 menyerahkan diri pada kematian...

namun sebenarnya ketidakpastian bisa merupakan berkah yg tersembunyi..manusia menunggu berkah tersebut dgn perasaan yg ingin dikejutkan dgn akhir yg bahagia..berharap bhw dgn memiliki harapan atas datangnya jawaban, akan menjadikan hidupnya sempurna dgn hadiah Tuhan yg mereka tunggu2...

sekarang masalahnya tinggal satu dgn 2 pilihan keputusan : apakah ketidakpastian merupakan kenikmatan atw penderitaan bagi manusianya?

apakah logika dan batin siap menunggu jawaban tersebut? atw menyerah krn penyiksaan yg terjadi krn menunggu?

ur answer..ur choice..evrything is about choice and risk...

masks..

try to find my masks again...
never thought would be like this again...
being someone for someone else...
not being someone for myself...

i tried many ways to see smile on ur face..
or even evryones faces..
i'm not trying to find my own smile...

for the years in front of me,
from now on..
i am nothing...

mother...

today i'm babysit arya...krn mba'e minta pulang kampung, jadi deh tuh bocah diculik sm keluarga gw..

hohoho..menyenangkan sekali yah punya bayi, aq pingin jadinya..ehehehehe...untung ngamuk mode nya hari ini ga nyala, anteng aja tuh..genit2 sm ade gw..ehehehe...normal brarti doi...

sometimes it hurts so much seeing babies..hurts coz i havent had it yet...still dont know if God will give me some someday..with who? hiks..God knows it from whom...

having concieve it on my belly...babies...child...teenager...grownups... :( cant wait!!!

i can...

when evry unspoken words isn't ur passion anymore...
when evry drop of my tears didn't hurt u anymore...

we speak of our hatred,
repeating either each disagreement and apologies..
reminiscing evry wounds..
makes us even go further into the goodbyes...

i'm not scared...
bcoz u promise to fly..
bcoz u promise to be happy...

i'm ur bestfriend...
u'll home to me with a big grin in ur face...
u'll home to me soon with each of ur dreams in ur hands..
we'll cherish evry anger with the calamity from our present...

and we smile to our past...

i know...i can....

mimpikuuu....

semua mimpiku bbrp sudah berakhir...even though its hard to accept, i'm very sure that i still can hold on...never knew when death will come, but i will try to do evrything i can to live for my own...

before i die, hope God will give me a chance (if God still think that i'm only human) i can go to where my dream's belong...



pulau derawan @ kalimantan timur, lepas pantai tanjung redeb



pulau komodo

bengong...

yaaaaah...daripada bengong2 ga enak mikir macem2 kan mending nulis ya? nulis apa jg ga tau krn ga boleh nulis macem2 tuh katanya...

jadi mau nulis apa dong yah? ga tau...abis yg mau ditulis juga ga bisa ditulis...

sambil nulis tapi tetep makan silverqueen..jadi ya udah..ribet dah...mending gw pulang aja ya daripada disini toh akhirnya tetep juga gw nulis di blog..aneh loo!!

happy bday for me..starting new day from today...

its not a happy day actually...but i was strong enough to get through it...
after a long conversation..dried our tear then shed it...
we both did a humongous mistakes yesterday, hoping we could heal from time to time...and try not doing other mistakes...
think we really should not meet at all for awhile...still hard being in the same room just the two of us...
anyway..thanks for the chocholate, dadar guling..